Friday, October 29, 2004

Constants change. So do my consonants when alliterations slip in the Freudian fashion.

I look out from the deck over this dim city. Gazing out at the twinkling lights peeking through the transplanted foliage. Lights shining like pennies and dimes spilled and scattered on a velvet duvet in the foreground of a deep navy backdrop. The contrast of the rolling shadows are illuminated by a full moon, seen clearly as it hangs delicately, balancing the tiny diamonds in the abyss of a flawless sky. The tripled white gleaming puffs on the horizon, storm warnings, catch my attention as I ask myself, "Am I going to miss this?" I wonder...

God, everything is so crisp just after a good rain... I love that.

Will I miss this?

Will I miss the silhouette of Saddleback trimming the horizon? I saw it every day on the way to school in high school... *shudder* Maybe not...

Will I miss the rhythmic sequencing of that one street light you can see from the bedroom window that I used to gaze out at as I went to sleep as a child? Every night when I would lie in bed and thought about my life and the day's occurrences, I would see that one street light beyond the two streets of houses below us.

What about my neighbor playing his banjo alone in his hammock outside in the adjacent backyard? Just one of those little dependable constants, one of those things that will always be there.

Little things...

How about being able to take my sister to play at the park which I played at when I was her age?

Perhaps.

-God it's freezing out here-

But those constants have been apparent in my life thus far. It's time for change. My entire childhood was spent with them, and now I'm 18. [Not that I didn't feel it for such a long time before it became biological.] My life is changing so rapidly right now, that it just came in such a timely manner. This was meant to be. This is my time to let go. This is my closure.

Time to grow up, Ash.


Ashley scribbled at 11:41 PM

about me

name: Ashley McCarthy
occupation: actress, dancer, painter, sister, amateur photographer, daughter, html goddess, dreamer, poet, lover
born: Sept. 11 1986
astroligical sign: Virgo



I love my art; acting, and I've been doing it all of my life. Big Kit-Kats and Nestle Crunch bars are heavenly, I love to sip those white russians and cosmos, and I'm a very loyal friend. I honestly believe that hammocks and pajama pants are some of man's best inventions, and that Feng Shui really works. I also believe that Dave Matthews is a musical genious, and that Ben Harper is the reincarnation of Bob Marley, with Jack Johnson as his caucasian counterpart. I think that everyone should read at least one of the current Dalai Lama's books. I have the tendency to be slightly flaky sometimes, but I try really hard not to be. I swear. I like meeting new people. I love the beach at any time. When it's raining in April, when it's 2 o'clock in the morning in August during the persaides, whatever. It's seriously always the best place to be. I like a nice balance in life. I can get wild and crazy. Let loose and have fun no matter what. Live it up. Yet I'm also totally mellow. I can have a roaring firepit going, eat an A's breakfast burrito, and hang on the beach playing gin rummy and backgammon all day [and night] and be the happiest person alive. I also love to sleep. Sleep is my friend. <3

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people around:
My mom



other peaceful days:
October 2004
July 2005



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